Wife Swap (C4): Jayne likes pink, partying and pointing out to partner Martin that she's the boss.
Their arrangements extend beyond His and Hers towels to His and Hers children. As she puts it: "Martin has his child and I have mine" as she devotes herself to nine-year-old Sasha and he looks after Max, six.
The other Jane and husband Bill have moved with sons Isaac, 12, and Jacob, ten, to a remote Scottish island where fresh food and "harsh but fair" parenting are on the domestic menu.
Junk food and takeaways are banned, probably because fast food becomes slow food when the nearest takeaway is a 60-mile round trip away.
The scene was set for a classic Wife Swap confrontation as the two women swapped partners, children and homes for two weeks. Any amateur psychiatrists among viewers will have had a Freudian field day examining the mindset of these couples.
While Jamie's School Dinners wins Baftas for changing the habits of a school meal lifetime, Wife Swap acts as the TV equivalent of a family guidance counsellor. The exchange proved a life-changing experience in both cases, making you feel guilty - but only slightly - for enjoying quite so much the extent of their discomfort.
My sympathies switched between the two Jayne/Janes as their swapping time developed.
Who couldn't smile when fun-loving, glamorous Jayne, whose home is decorated with photographs of her in a bikini, found herself in the middle of nowhere with a man whose idea of fun was to supervise her doing the housework?
"It's the person behind the mop, not the mop," Bill said after she complained about her tools. Jayne didn't take criticism well.
"If you patronise me once more, I'm going to shove this up your arse," she said, brandishing the mop.
Jane, back on the mainland in Jayne's pink palace, was in tears after paying £35 to have her nails done, sobbing that "that would probably stop a child in a Third World country from dying".
What emerged was that the children were paying the price emotionally for their parents' lifestyle. Sasha, virtually ignored by her dad, ended up passing a note to Martin begging him to spend more time with her.
Isaac and Jacob confided to the camera, if not their parents, that they weren't totally happy with island life and that their dad had had a sense of humour by-pass.
There was a happy ending when the women returned home, the Wife Swap equivalent of turkey twizzlers being banned.
Jayne promised to spend more time with her son and be less bossy towards Martin. Bill drank a toast "to pinkness", had fun with his sons and promised to be more sociable. Even his dog's life was changed - it was allowed to sleep on the pink blanket Jayne bought it.
Published: 09/05/2006
