The Mint (ITV1) John Osborne And The Gift Of Friendship (five) - 'COME on Steve, we haven't got all night," the contestant on the phone was told.
As usual, the presenter had got it wrong. The whole point about The Mint is that you have got all night because the ITV Play game channel runs through the night on ITV1.
I have yet to encounter a better cure for insomnia, or insanity as the naffness of it could drive you mad. There was more drama, more passion, more everything in the No More Nails On A Roll commercial during the break.
An unseen audience is heard clapping regularly, presumably in an effort to keep viewers awake as a chirpy chap and a bouncy blonde ask phone-in contestants to name a European capital to win cash in a game named Treasure Hunt.
Communication isn't always easy. Blonde: "Hello, who's there?". No answer.
"Hello," she repeated.
Caller: "Hello".
Blonde: "Who's that?".
Caller: "Pardon".
Now if the caller can't even get their name right, what hope of winning?. The conversation, if I can use that term for a series of disjointed inquiries, continued.
Blonde: "Who are you?".
Caller: "Kate".
Blonde: "How are you?".
Caller: "Fine".
The conversation was flowing as swiftly as a river during a drought. Blonde discovered that Kate was calling from Edinburgh. This gave her the chance to display her geographic knowledge. "All the way from Scotland," she said.
When Kate correctly named Paris as a European capital, Blonde went into overdrive. "Oooh," she squealed. "Gay Paree, yes, of course, ooh-la-la".
Playwright John Osborne would not, I suspect, have approved of The Mint. Quite what he'd have made of the three-part TV biography John Osborne And The Gift Of Friendship, I'm not sure either. The first part of Tony Palmer's documentary was as odd as the title.
Old interviews with Osborne were mixed with recollections from those who knew him and, perhaps most interestingly, previously-seen footage from original stage productions of his plays - including Olivier as vaudeville performer Archie Rice in The Entertainer.
Osborne transformed British theatre in 1956 with his play Look Back In Anger, but fell out of favour in his later years. He could be a difficult man, as his biographer John Heilpern observed, "I've spoken to people who can't stand John and all he stood for". A friend spoke of him moving between "emotional generosity and scathing vilification".
Among the fascinating facts to emerge were other titles he considered for the play that became Look Back In Anger. They included Man In A Rage, Bargain From Strength and Close The Cage Behind You. It made you realise the importance of choosing a good title.
Take That:
metroradio Newcastle Arena
Ultimate tour 2006
PART of a male contingent that was outnumbered by women by more than ten to one, question marks would have to be raised as to what exactly I was doing at a Take That concert in the first place.
But, having witnessed over an hour and a half of the biggest boy band of the 1990s re-lighting their fires, even the most stubborn part of this critic would have to accept they managed to do just that.
Even with a combined age of 141, Gary Barlow, Howard Donald, Jason Orange and Mark Owen sent thousands of ecstatic fans inside the metroradio Newcastle Arena delirious. And the thirty-somethings showed they still boast relatively high fitness levels with an over-exuberant stage show that, I'm reliably informed, was just as good as when they were in their twenties.
This was only the second of 29 summer dates Take That will be raking in millions from, so whether they can maintain these high standards remains to be seen.
The choreography from start to finish was exceptional and the screams of adolescent girls and women reliving their teenage years was quite deafening, not to mention frightening.
And, 13 years after appearing in Newcastle for the first time, the cries reached a new high when a giant hologram of Robbie Williams - one of the original five who refuses to embark on the Ultimate Tour - opened a rendition of Could It Be Magic.
Without Robbie you could not help but wonder whether he holds regrets and that he would make a surprise appearance. Take That, on this evidence, could be Back for Good.
Paul Fraser
Gary Numan: Newcastle Carling Academy
TELLING friends I had tickets to see Gary Numan in concert generally provoked two responses - either raised eyebrows or hearty laughs. Not to be deterred, I pressed ahead regardless and joined the throng of Numanites, generally middle-aged skinheads, Goth chicks and men with spiky haircuts and painful looking piercings for this show in Newcastle.
After all, I figured, why dismiss someone with two number ones behind him - Cars and Are Friends Electric? - and whose records have been regularly sampled, most famously by the Sugababes in their hit Freak Like Me.
Following a period in the wilderness Numan was rescued by big advertising deals with a famous lager manufacturer and credit card company, who used his music in their ads.
Now he's being named-checked regularly and cited as an influence on the current crop of new wave electro-rock acts.
Tonight, in what can only be described as a football style atmosphere - chants of 'Numan' 'Numan' are regularly heard - he cycles through a number of new songs with harder rock edge.
It's a slow start for those of us not up to speed with his current work, but it's genuinely edgy, atmospheric stuff all the same and the hardcore element of the crowd seem to love it.
Meanwhile, Numan looks like a man who's enjoying himself, twirling his mike stand around and making faces at the audience. There's a few older songs chucked in too to keep everybody happy and a couple of encores.
There's no Cars, strange given it was his biggest hit, which is something of a disappointment. This is a small gripe though and the climactic finish to the show just about makes up for it.
Stuart Arnold
Published: 26/04/06