"FANCY having to go round and tell people you work for Bright Ideas TV. How embarrassing is that?" said my wife as our Sunday morning lie-in with TV produced the rare gem of an early episode of Antiques Roadshow.
"You can see its old because Hugh Scully is the presenter. Isn't he dead now?" she said in the tones of a Roadshow expert examining some Royal Doulton or majolica. I wasn't aware that Mr Scully had slipped off the perch completely, but I am sure that my wife's fear of the great unwatched is subsiding as she skips through our recently-gained plethora of digital channels.
But there was a distinct air of disappointment when she opted for Location, Location on Thursday night and it turned out to be some bizarre Australian version of the C4 series with a decidedly camp presenter. All this was in way of a protest at being "forced" to watch The Queen's Cavalry (BBC1) and All About George (ITV1). A previous behind-the-scenes look at the Blues And Royals was a decided hit with my other half in the past, but showing new recruits of the Household Cavalry beginning the tough 16-week route to become a Royal bodyguard received more boots than saddles. "This is boring and it jumps around too much," she muttered. I have to say that seeing 130 cavalrymen trotting around outside Buckingham Palace at 3am practicing for parades doesn't do a lot for me or the Queen's beauty sleep for that matter.
The sight of Rik Mayall without constant gurning, sneering insults and slapstick fights was quite a pleasant surprise. That's left to the rest of his complex extended Kinsey family in All About George.
"This is quite a strong cast," said my son in some surprise, having earlier stomped out of the room because we weren't going to watch Spooks (BBC1). Having laughed out loud a couple of times at the antics of dotty granny Lily (Edna Dore) - a nursing home scene showed her totally disinterested in another resident's collapse until it became apparent that a room with a view was now available - my wife went ominously quiet. Would she be watching episode 2?
"No, and there's nothing but rubbish on anyway so I'm going to bed," she announced.
It was only the next morning that she realised that this particular piece of unscripted drama meant she'd missed her favourite series House, which followed on five at 10pm.
Quite why the five terrestrial channels threw five major new series at us on a Thursday night must have something to do with potential viewing figures. Sadly, Elizabeth 1 (C4), Mike Bassett: Manager (ITV1) and The Hotel Inspectors (five) fell into the "oh God, not again!" category.
The Unteachables (C4, Tuesday) was also on familiar ground by showing 16 unpleasant young people given four months to turn their lives around having been kicked out of the state education system. Rewarding disruptive children with the attention of a film crew never strikes me as a particularly good idea. Could I suggest that finding 16 well-behaved youngsters might be more helpful?
My wife's terse verdict was "too much swearing"... which is probably why squeaky-clean Bright Ideas appealed in the first place.
Published: 01/10/2005
