RAC'S 3-1 defeat to Haughton two weeks ago was disappointing for both the team and myself.

Disappointing for the team because it was a fourth loss in five games and disappointing for me because I was hauled off at halftime. I hadn't even been down town the night before and actually thought I'd played okay. Plus I still got charged £3 for subs.

It's one of the most humiliating things possible for a footballer, second only to throwing up on the pitch (which I've also done) and left me contemplating an advert in this column for a new team to end my Hundens Lane hell.

Thankfully we didn't have a game last weekend which gave me time to calm down and save myself the potential embarrassment of noone actually wanting me.

SINCE Kevin Pieterson helped fire England to Ashes glory, the big-hitting batsman's distinctive 'skunk' haircut has been copied by many while David Beckham has had many weird different coiffures. It seems that the way to get ahead is to put something daft on your head, and Affinity Healthcare attempted to prove that against Northgate CIU Club again on Sunday. Midfielder Dave Crow went for the Sonic the Hedgehog look, with a blue spiked effort - apparently designed to co-ordinate with their blue kit - while Michael Hines opted for a monk-style affair with what was apparently a number ten carved into it.

"Wishful thinking for the strip allocation on a Sunday morning, " says Affinity fan Siobhan Hughf; alas, Hines was wearing No. 2 - which summed up his haircut.

However, as the men from Middleton St George lost 4-2, hopefully these flights of follicle fancy will be hair today and gone tomorrow.

LEAGUE committee member and occasional RAC midfielder Chris Johnson continues to play the name game this week with more stats from the signing-on forms.

Apparently the most popular name is Steven or Stephen, with 40 registered to play, and Royal British Legion's motley gaggle of fans can't chant "There's only one Stephen Dawes, " because there's two of them, father and son.

Gary Tibbett senior and junior are also keeping it in the family at Tanners Hall, while there are two Neil Atkinsons, two Chris Scotts, two Danny Wilsons, two Martin Scotts, two Adam Wilsons and incredibly, for those who know our man with an eye for figures, there are two Chris Johnsons.

Our Chris (the one who likes boring facts as opposed to the New Allstars linchpin) adds:

"Spare a thought for the manager of East End who now has two Thorns in his side, in the shape of Danny and Paul. Mind you, he also has Luck in the form of Steven, so he should be okay."

More name-related trivia from Chris in a fortnight as long as he doesn't get arrested for breaching the data protection act in his trawl through the forms first.

ON SUNDAY we face Model T who are the division's leaders.

With their very ginger yet very effective strike pairing of Richard Bestford and Alan Percival, they've scored plenty and Steven Barker is a key player in midfield. However we're due a win and if we can take our chances for a change, the Model T could just break down against the RAC.

Published: 26/08/2005