LADIES and gentlemen, Axa Insurance FC have a game this Sunday.

No honestly, I know it's April Fool's Day today but I'm not winding you up. After playing only one fixture in the past six weeks, we are finally back in action with a home game against Mitek and Wheatsheaf Albion.

In fact, with several more games to fit in before now and the end of the season, it's going to be like waiting for buses or an answer to England's problem on the left wing - none for ages and then loads all at once.

From seemingly having nobody capable of playing on the left flank, Sven now has Joe Cole, Stewart Downing, and of course I am also both English and a leftwinger although maybe I will have to become a regular at Axa first before I get a call-up.

All these matches in such a small space of time means we may well have to play a game or two on a Thursday evening in order to cram them all in.

Usually these games see sides struggle for players a bit as people are unable to get back from work in time. I seem to recall the now defunct Middleton St George had particular problems with this last season, while the likes of St Augustines, NASA Goodfellas, Peppers DSRM and Nestfield Club will probably see their squads stretched to the limit over the forthcoming games.

It's never posed a problem for me in the past, but as I'm now working in Stockton I could well be ruled out of any Thursday night games - or at least restricted to coming on as a sub when I do arrive. Which actually wouldn't make much of a difference from an average Sunday morning.

I am trying to negotiate an early release from work in the event of any evening fixtures however, citing the fact that I need to play for Axa in order to write this column and therefore I would officially still be working while playing.

So far, there seems to be more chance of Royal British Legion - with their minus three points tally - winning the Second Division, but if successful, being paid while I was playing for the Blues would be the closest to being a professional footballer I'm ever likely to get.

Mitek and Wheatsheaf Albion on Sunday will be a very tough game and in fact if they win, they would go above us in the table. We beat them on the opening day of the season but they seem to have picked up a lot lately and also knocked Fighting Cocks out of the cup semi-finals last week.

Hopefully they will now focus all of their concentration on the Division Three Cup final at the RA Ground - against the side who knocked us out, Brown Trout - and we will therefore be able to win and stay in the top five.

Because this part of the season is basically just a period of rearranged fixtures, I haven't got a clue who anybody else is playing this weekend - but it's a good thing the season officially finishes in March so all the rescheduled fixtures can be squeezed in!

Published: 01/04/2005