IT WAS arguably the biggest game of Copper Beech's season so far; the proverbial six-pointer, and probably at least a six-pointer if we won.

With three teams going up from Division Three this season, we knew Brown Trout would see them leapfrog us, and see us outside of the top three for the first time in several months, if we lost. The sheer enormity of the game was reflected in the crowd at the Branksome School stadium. As well as our injured midfielder Colly, who arrived midway through the second half, a family strolled by with their dog and stayed to watch for a while.

That more than doubled our last home attendance, and with their superior fanbase, perhaps Brown Trout would not be a fish out of water in the league above.

ON THE pitch, though, Copper Beech were keen to prove promotion was deserved, and we took an early lead with an instinctive finish from Kev Myers. But the home side equalised with an excellent long-range strike, before taking a controversial second half lead. After that, it was mostly the Beech on top, but we couldn't find our way past goalkeeper their goalkeeper Preston, who was on top form for someone who had only recently left the Big Brother house and is currently involved in a tabloid tug-of-war between two babes. Although defeat was perhaps harsh (their defender Dan Brooks admitted Copper had been the better side in the second half), Brown Trout deserve bigging up for the way they have soared up the table almost unnoticed in recent weeks. Never a frown with golden Brown, they can now consider themselves noticed and hopefully we can now overtake them again.

IT WASN'T just the Trouts who were Brown last weekend; the Copper's copper-topped midfield lynchpin Darren 'Jonna' Johnson almost didn't make it because he was suffering from diarrhoea.

Thankfully, the ginger genius managed to stem the flow with an extensive toilet-based warm-up, and by not eating for several hours. The only runs from him during the game were darting ones through the defence, the only follow-throughs in his tackles.

But then again, turning out for us, he's probably used to playing with a load of ****.

SOME readers may be aware that Copper Beech have failed to win since the column joined the club in December, when they were still top of the league.

In four games since, we've picked up just one point and while it would be harsh to blame King of the Wing singlehandedly, the demise is quite some coincidence. Indeed, it's all too reminiscent of about the same time ten years ago, when Newcastle United led the league and decided to further improve their team by signing Faustino Asprilla. But upon signing him, for one reason or another they started dropping points more often than our keeper Nick drops crosses, and ended up relinquishing their pole position. However, rest assured that if the column ever got the chance to sign for Darlington, like Asprilla did a few years later, it would certainly not do a runner.

Published: 10/02/06